🤖 How to Beat a Robot at Writing a Love Letter
Don't let AI become a love middleman
Good Morning!
Today marks two full weeks of daily posts 😄 Thanks for continuing to walk with us on this journey. Every day feels like a learning experience as the newsletter welcomes new subscribers and our voice matures. If you have any feedback on how we can improve, I’d love to hear from you at dailyselfnewsletter@gmail.com.
It’s the last day of Love and Relationships week, and we are ending on my very favorite subject: writing. Today’s edition includes:
Morning Microdose: 🤖 How to Beat a Robot at Writing a Love Letter
Myth of the Day: I need to be a skilled writer or have a way with words to write a decent love letter
Action Item: Weave your story
(1) Morning Microdose
How to Beat a Robot at Writing a Love Letter
I recently read that ChatGPT (Artificial Intelligence aka AI) is being used to write wedding vows. You can even ask AI to write it in a certain tone of voice—for example a Shakespearean sonnet.
I pledge to thee my love, my heart, my all / To cherish and to hold until the end / And though life's challenges may make us fall / Our love shall never waver or bend😑… 😐… 🙄…
Since a vow is essentially a spoken love letter, this means that humans all over the world are now relying on a robot to communicate their deepest feelings to other humans. AI has essentially become a “love middleman.”
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate technology, and there is nothing quite as satisfying as asking ChatGPT to give me 5 ideas for snappy dinner outfits based on my body shape, height, weight, and favorite colors. I got really amazing results for that request by the way….
Wear all black or all gray with different textures and fabrics for a sleek monochromatic look. Try pairing a black leather jacket with black jeans and black boots or a gray wool blazer with gray dress pants and gray suede shoes.But here’s the thing about AI: it’s soulless.
Its programming is based on a deep-learning neural network with billions of parameters. It has learned everything it knows from… take a guess… HUMANS! Essentially we have trained AI to write about love by showing AI how to love. AI doesn’t feel connection, tenderness, joy, happiness, or gratitude. It only burps out content based on humanity’s social artifacts.
Consider the following:
AI has no memories of the way your wife looked in the blue jacket that brought out the aquamarine in her eyes, and what it was like to kiss her on the mountaintop
AI doesn’t know what it sounded like when your boyfriend cried after his dog died, and what it did to your heart when he trusted you enough to fall apart in your arms
AI can’t possibly understand how loud you screamed on the inside when your partner bleached your cashmere sweater, and how loud you screamed on the outside when she told you about the Lizzo tickets she bought for your birthday
And AI really has no idea what it felt like to hear your husband say “I love you” for the first time, and what it sounded like to hear yourself saying it back
Writing a love letter can be an incredible act of self-care that you would be giving up if you put it in the hands of AI. For many people, getting thoughts and feelings down on paper is cathartic, and helps them process and release pent-up emotions. Additionally, it’s an opportunity to affirm your emotions and give yourself permission to love and be loved.
So, here’s what you can do to beat a robot at writing a love letter.
Answer these questions
What do you remember most about the day you met? Try to recall a few subtle details.
What quality of theirs is so extraordinary that they would be a completely different person if they didn’t have it?
If you were to flip-flop your senses (e.g. experience sight through listening, and sound through seeing), how would that change your perception of them?
Now tell a story by weaving those answers together
A love letter by an actual human…
“I don’t remember what day it was the first time we met, but I do remember the sky. There was a golden sunset with broad brushstrokes of pink, purple, and blue. You were sitting on a bench, reading an actual book—paper and all. The moment I saw you, I knew you were for me. I also knew that it was completely unreasonable that I’d be the one for you.
But, that’s why I adore you… you’ve never been reasonable, never settled, never been one to just accept ‘what is’. And because you were unreasonable that day, you saw me for who I was and found yourself living in the possibility of us.
You were stunning then, and every day since, which turns my senses upside down. When I see you, I hear a symphony; and when I hear you, I see a constellation.”
This love letter may sound sappy to you, but when you create one based on your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences—tailored specifically for the person you’re in love with—well, let’s just say you’ll blow AI out of the water. The difference between a story you weave together versus what AI can generate? Authenticity.
Additional tips
Hand-write your love letter—handwritten notes have a much more personal feel
Put your love letter in a sealed envelope, so opening it is an experience
Bonus: Mail it old-timey style with a stamp
(2) Myth of the Day
I need to be a skilled writer or have a way with words to write a decent love letter.
While it helps to have writing skills, the most important thing is to express your feelings honestly and sincerely. You don't need any special qualifications to write a heartfelt and meaningful love letter. If you’re worried about grammar or punctuation or flow, simply record it as I did. The only requirement is being your authentic self.
(3) Action Item
If you’re in a relationship and emotionally ready to write a love letter, try answering the questions above and weaving together a story. If you’re not in a relationship, you can use the same format to write a meaningful and heartfelt letter to a close friend or family member.
I wish you all a wonderful weekend and know that I’m grateful for your readership. See you Monday!
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