Midlife Gains
The 10 Essentials to Thriving in Middle Age
Dear Reader,
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Introduction
Last week, I shared my love for rucking (moving with weight on your back) and how it’s become one of my favorite ways to stay active. It’s simple, challenging, and—most importantly—joyful.
I’m a month into being 44 years old, and I’ve been reflecting on how to maintain and improve my fitness, as well as what it means to thrive in all areas of my life. For example, I’ve learned that staying fit isn’t just about discipline or grinding through workouts; it’s about finding practices that challenge me while cultivating real joy. Because here’s the thing: no matter your age, having fun and loving what you do is the most important factor in sticking with your fitness goals.
I’m excited to kick off a 10-week series on the 10 essentials of thriving in middle age, starting with my number one recommendation: finding joy in the hard things. Each week until April, we’ll explore one of these essentials in depth, uncovering practical ways to help you thrive—physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The 10 Essentials of Thriving in Middle Age
These 10 essentials aren’t just about staying fit—they’re about thriving. Midlife is a time to harness your wisdom, prioritize your health, and embrace the things that truly matter. Each of these practices is rooted in the idea that growth doesn’t stop as we age—it evolves. From physical fitness to mental resilience, these essentials are designed to help you live with purpose, strength, and joy. Let’s break them down.
Find joy in the hard things.
Apply your wisdom and listen to your intuition.
Reduce sugar and alcohol.
Eat intuitively.
Work out 5+ days a week.
Lift weight.
Exercise your neuroplasticity.
Do things you’ve always wanted to do, even if they scare you.
Identify trauma responses and learn healthier coping mechanisms.
Be a loving and kind person to yourself and others.
Finding Joy in the Hard Things
Physically: Embrace the Challenge, but Make It Sustainable
You won’t stick with something that feels miserable, so experiment until you find something that challenges you and brings you joy.
Finding joy in physical challenges doesn’t mean grinding yourself into the ground or forcing workouts you hate. It means leaning into the hard things that make you stronger while finding ways to enjoy the process.
For me, this is where rucking and backpacking come in. Carrying weight while moving through nature feels tough but purposeful—and even fun. Fitness should push you but also feel rewarding, not like a punishment. Start small and focus on activities that light you up. If weightlifting seems intimidating, try bodyweight exercises first. If running isn’t your thing, walk briskly or hike. The key is sustainability. You won’t stick with something that feels miserable, so experiment until you find something that challenges you and brings you joy.
I also like to mix things up and push slightly beyond my perceived limit to keep my joy levels high. What do I mean by that? Sometimes, I’ll do two workouts in a day: boxing or weightlifting at the gym in the morning, and then a ruck at night. Other times, I’ll flip it. And if I’m not feeling up for two workouts, I stick to one—and that’s okay.
One of my favorite ways to keep things interesting is with back-to-back exercises called “supersets.” Supersets are tough but fun because you do two exercises without resting in between. For example, I might do 5 pull-ups and then jump straight into 25 push-ups. It’s challenging, but it’s also a great way to keep things fresh and push yourself in new ways.
Remember: hard doesn’t have to mean miserable. The best workouts leave you feeling proud, not defeated. They’re about building strength and improving your fitness—not causing bad pain (yes, there is such a thing as good pain) or anguish.
Emotionally: Redefine What “Hard” Means
Emotionally, finding joy in the hard things is about shifting your perspective. Instead of viewing challenges as roadblocks, see them as opportunities to grow and adapt. This mindset shift doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth practicing.
When something feels hard—whether it’s sticking to a new routine, handling a tough conversation, or making a big life change—remind yourself that difficulty often means you’re evolving. There’s joy in knowing you’re capable of more than you once thought. Take pride in showing up, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Start by celebrating small wins. Every time you push through something hard, acknowledge it. Build confidence in your ability to face challenges, and over time, you’ll find that joy comes not just from the result but from the effort itself.
Mentally: Train Your Mind Like a Muscle
Mentally, finding joy in the hard things is about rewiring your brain to see difficulty as an opportunity instead of a threat. Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to adapt and grow—works in your favor here. When you push yourself to tackle hard things, whether it’s learning a new skill, trying a new workout, or breaking old habits, you’re strengthening mental pathways that make you more resilient.
This process starts with reframing. Instead of thinking, “This is too hard,” try asking, “What can I learn from this?” Give yourself grace when it doesn’t go perfectly, but keep showing up. Consistency is key.
Meditation, mindfulness, and even practicing affirmations can help train your brain to stay calm and focused during tough moments. Over time, you’ll notice that what once felt overwhelming becomes manageable—and maybe even enjoyable.
For this week: Try these activities to find joy in the hard things
Tuesday: Pick a workout that challenges you but feels fun—maybe something new or something you haven’t done in a while. Focus on how it feels to move, not just the outcome.
Wednesday: Do a supersets workout! Choose two exercises and perform them back-to-back for 3-4 rounds. It’ll push you, but you might find it surprisingly energizing.
Thursday: Spend 10-15 minutes reflecting on a current challenge in your life—fitness-related or otherwise. Write about how this challenge could help you grow, and reframe it as an opportunity to adapt or learn something new.
Friday: Practice mindfulness during a workout or activity. Whatever you’re doing, focus on your breath, the sensations in your body, and the moment itself. Notice how being fully present changes the experience.
Let me know how you found joy in the hard things this week! Did a workout push you in a good way? Did you reframe a challenge and feel stronger for it? Shoot me a reply with your experience—I’d love to hear about the small wins, big breakthroughs, or even what you tried and didn’t love.