Re-finding Yourself

Digging up your childhood dreams

Good Morning Afternoon!

Welcome to Daily Self Monday—I hope all of you had a great weekend. I continued experimenting with open style and contemporary dance and began online classes using the Steezy app. So far, so good! I highly recommend Steezy for beginners wanting to flail wildly in the comfort of their own homes.

In today’s edition…

1. Morning Afternoon Microdose: Re-finding Yourself

2. Myth of the Day: Childhood fantasies and dreams are trivial and insignificant.

3. Action Item: Jot down some of your favorite childhood dreams—does your current reality incorporate any of them?

Let’s dig in!

(1) Morning Afternoon Microdose

Re-Finding Yourself

As a kid, did anyone ever ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? The Internet asks me this all the time when I need to set up those “additional security questions.” This is the perfect security question for me because I always remember the answer(s):

astronaut, archaeologist, T-Rex, writer, dancer, racecar driver

(Btw, there is a legit security question where one of these answers is very applicable 🦖)

Had there been a follow-up survey last year to find out how many of these I grew up to become, I would have answered:

0

Now, I can definitely rationalize the first three:

1. Astronaut: This was never going to happen because I suffer from terrible motion sickness in every form of transportation and amusement park ride

2. Archaeologist: I only wanted to be one because Indiana Jones was my 2nd favorite movie (Ghostbusters was my 1st favorite movie, but there’s no such thing as paranormal phenomena. Right?) and Indy always got the girl

3. T-Rex: Totally unrealistic living in Los Angeles

The latter three, however, were “want to be’s” that never came to fruition because I always listened to others when they said they were a “waste of time.”

• Writer: "Writers don’t make any money.” “Do you know how many writers there are?” “Most books never get read.” “What a waste of time.”

• Dancer: “Do something useful.” “You’ll never be good enough.” “You’re too uncoordinated.” “What a waste of time.”

• Racecar driver: “Haha, that’s ridiculous.” “How can you possibly think that’s ever going to happen?” “What a waste of time.”

Basically, I lost myself in other people’s failures to see my potential.

Losing yourself

When you were very young, you hadn’t lived long enough to experience life’s beatdowns. Your wonder and excitement were limitless, which empowered you to dream big and boldly.

But as you got older, the realities of life began to unfold, and you found yourself accepting input from others on your big and bold dreams. You listened to them because they were wise, loud, critical, mean, successful, rich, powerful, or for any other reason that justified the fact that their opinions were more important than yours.

Once you accepted their opinion as fact, your childhood dream(s) died, and they were replaced by more “reasonable” dream(s). As an adult, perhaps you’re flourishing in the reality of your reasonable dreams. However, if you’re not, and you often feel like a square peg in a round hole, your childhood dreams may be the key to re-finding yourself.

How to re-find yourself

The following excerpt is taken from a Portland State University publication on “Identity Development during Adolescence”:

When people wonder about the nature of their “real” and “true” self, researchers sometimes send them back to photos and memories of their 10-year-old selves. At that age, many of our actual characteristics and interests are at the surface, because we have not yet developed the self-consciousness that tells us to hide features of who we really are in order to fit in.

So, to re-find your buried dreams, look back at your younger self. The technique I used was a combination of meditation and visualization. During a meditation exercise earlier this year, I uncovered the dreams that I listed above and began reimagining my life as a writer and dancer (racecar driver is TBD).

Over the past 30 days, I made small changes in my life to make my writing and dancing dreams a reality, starting with this Substack and online dance classes. These are not radically wild changes—they are experiments. As a result, I can feel the childhood wonder and excitement coming back into my life day after day.

Now, imagine what it would look like if you ran your own experiments. What would it feel like to wake up with wonder and excitement every day? What would it feel like to truly find yourself?

(2) Myth of the Day

In reality, childhood fantasies and dreams can play a significant role in shaping a person's interests, passions, and aspirations.

Research has shown that children who engage in imaginative play and have rich fantasy lives tend to be more creative and better problem-solvers as adults. Imaginative play is an important part of development, as it allows children to explore different scenarios and emotions in a safe and controlled environment.

Furthermore, childhood fantasies and dreams can serve as a source of motivation and inspiration, as they provide a sense of purpose and direction. This can be particularly important during adolescence when young people are trying to establish their identities and make decisions about their future.

(3) Action Item

1. Take a few moments today to write down some of your childhood dreams and fantasies. It doesn’t matter if you think they are too “silly.” This isn’t about determining their feasibility, it’s about returning your mind to a place where anything is possible.

2. Once you make your list, consider if you have incorporated any pieces of your childhood dreams into your current reality. If not, why? If so, how? Is there anything you dreamed about that is still completely possible by addressing feelings of imposter syndrome or by surprising yourself?

I highly recommend Visualization Meditation for the second part of this exercise. Click here for a free 30-day trial of Headspace, which is an app I personally used to teach myself how to meditate (and I was seriously skeptical at first, but now I’m a true believer).

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