Switching off Grizzly Mode
How a simple breathing technique can help you tame the bear
Disclaimer: I am not a physician and this isn’t medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physican or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen.
Good Morning!
Welcome to Daily Self Wednesday—the day of the week that we focus on physical self-care topics. It’s also Day 3 of our Love and Relationships series, so here’s what you can expect in today’s edition…
Morning Microdose: Switching off Grizzly Mode
Myth of the Day: Triggering the sympathetic nervous system should be avoided
Action Item: Practice the Rule of 3s
Also, a very special thanks to Ashley in Burbank, California for teaching me the Rule of 3s—it really works.
(1) Morning Microdose
Switching off Grizzly Mode
I clearly remember one of the worst fights I’ve ever had in a relationship. It was over a kitten.
Not the “I’m not sure it’s a good time to bring a kitten into the household” kind of fight, but the “You’re using this kitten as leverage to turn others against me!” crazy rant kind of fight. Note: The kitten was not leverage and I ended up adopting him anyway.
The fight escalated to such heights that my body was shaking, my adrenaline was surging, my pulse rate doubled, and I could feel my blood pressure going to the moon. In those moments, words were a blur and I yelled things that were irrational and callous. My ex countered with the same behavior until we were both slamming doors. The relationship ended a few weeks after that.
What I remember most about that fight was how angry my entire body felt. It took 20 minutes to stop shaking, and over an hour to get my blood pressure and heart rate back down to normal. Not once during that fight did I think to myself: “I should try to calm myself down… this is not going to end well.”
Why? Because I didn’t understand what was happening to my body and didn’t have the tools to manage it.
The sympathetic nervous system
Imagine you're hiking in the mountains, and suddenly spot a giant Grizzly bear in front of you. The moment your eyes lock with this majestic (and terrifying) creature, your body enters fight or flight mode. In this mode, your:
Heart rate increases
Blood pressure increases
Breathing quickens
And you pee your pants a little (or a lot).
Congratulations—your body is now prepared to run or fight the bear. You can thank your sympathetic nervous system for automatically switching on this mode for you.
When your sympathetic nervous system is activated, your body prepares to respond to a perceived threat/ stressor by increasing your heart rate and blood pressure, dilating your pupils, increasing your respiratory rate, and releasing adrenaline, noradrenaline, and other hormones. These responses help your body prepare to deal with a perceived threat.
So what does this have to do with arguments in your relationship? When you’re having a huge blow-up, you’ve basically got a Grizzly on your hands.
Resetting the switch
When you're having a heated argument, your body can perceive the situation as a threat or stressor. Your sympathetic nervous system, in turn, prepares you to fight the person accusing you of being a kitten manipulator.
If fights like these persist or remain unresolved, the chronic activation of your sympathetic nervous system can lead to negative health consequences. For example, high levels of stress hormones released can increase blood pressure, which, over time, may damage blood vessels and lead to an increased risk of heart disease and stroke.
In other words, to have the best odds for a long and healthy life, you need to learn how to chill the f*ck out.
This leads me to the Rule of 3s: an easy and effective deep breathing technique designed to reset your sympathetic nervous system. For me, the Rule of 3s was a crucial skill to learn not only to deal with arguments, but also to manage work stressors, public speaking, anxiety, fear, and even post-workout nausea.
The Rule of 3s Breathing Exercise
Take a slow, deep breath through your nose for 3 seconds. Allow your belly to expand as you inhale.
Hold that breath for 3 seconds.
Exhale through your mouth for 3 seconds. Allow your belly to contract as you exhale.
Repeat this 3 times in a row.
The goal of this deep-breathing exercise is to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for promoting relaxation and reducing stress. It’s a simple, yet effective, technique that can be practiced anywhere, at any time.
(2) Myth of the Day
Triggering the sympathetic nervous system should be avoided.
While chronic activation of the sympathetic nervous system can lead to negative health outcomes, the fight or flight response plays a crucial role in meeting the metabolic demands of working muscles during exercise.
For example, think back to the last time you raced (running, cycling, swimming, etc.). When you began the race, your body perceived it as a stressor and activated the sympathetic nervous system. The activation of the sympathetic nervous system helped you to adapt to the physical demands of the race and improved your performance by increasing your heart rate, blood pressure, and blood flow. These changes helped to deliver more oxygen and nutrients to your muscles.
(3) Action Item
Give the Rule of 3s Breathing Exercise a try before you get into an argument. The next time you feel stressed (perhaps in a “parallel-parking without a backup camera” situation), take a couple of minutes to practice. Did it help you reset your system and get out of Grizzly Mode?
Liked what you read? Stick around and share with a friend. See you tomorrow!