The Power of Surprising Yourself
How to break out of your mold and re-discover your personality
Good Morning!
Welcome to the Tuesday edition of “Daily Self.” If you’ve read the first two editions, thank you! If you’re just joining, then welcome—I’m happy you’re here.
Today’s newsletter includes…
Morning Microdose: The Power of Surprising Yourself
Myth of the Day: Your personality, once developed, is fixed and unchangeable.
Action Item: How would others describe you? Is that really who you are?
(1) Morning Microdose
The Power of Surprising Yourself
When you were very young, your unique personality began to develop. It formed on top of your inherited characteristics and was shaped by the culture in which you grew up. Your mind was full of thoughts and feelings that were distinctly YOU.
But when you crossed over into your teens, your personality began to seek belonging and acceptance. To some degree, your thoughts and feelings were molded by what others wanted and expected from you. This continued into your 20s and perhaps continues still now into your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond.
Recognize that you have a choice. You can either accept that you are the sum of what your family, romantic partner, co-workers, classmates, roommates, friends, and enemies expect you to be; or, you can surprise yourself by breaking out of your mold.
Here’s an example of how I broke out of my mold, and changed my future.
All my life, I believed that I was shy and introverted. Why? Because everyone said I was. Well, at some point, I probably did act shy and did prefer to be alone than to spend time with others. But that was a snapshot in time—not my entire timeline. Despite this, I still labeled myself “shy and introverted” because if that’s what others saw in me, they had to be right… right?
But then, I found myself at a crossroads. To be honest, I was at the lowest point in my life and questioning why I was even here. That’s when I realized I needed to re-invent myself and break out of the mold that I’d lived in since I was 13.
This is how I did it:
For every fear that I felt in my body, I made myself (literally shaking at times) do it anyway even though it was really, really scary
Any time I wanted to shrink into a shell, I pushed myself out as far as I could possibly go
And then, I kept doing this, over and over again until the mold finally broke open
I surprised myself so many times by doing the exact opposite of what others expected me to do, that I created a whole new personality, which wasn’t shy or introverted.
My new personality wasn’t afraid to speak in public, lead a team, start a new business, or ask someone on a date. My new personality didn’t ask permission—it created the rules. This is the power of surprising yourself.
So let me ask you: is your current personality, your real personality? Or is your personality a reflection of how others treat you? To answer that question, I encourage you to test yourself and do something that scares you. In the end, the only way to truly discover who you are is to push yourself out of your comfort zone and confront your fears head-on. So go ahead, take that first step towards self-discovery, and see what kind of amazing strengths and talents you have waiting to be uncovered.
Your true personality is waiting for you to discover it.
(2) Myth of the Day
Your personality, once developed, is fixed and unchangeable.
This idea implies that a person's traits, behaviors, and attitudes are set in stone, making them feel helpless and resigned about their personality.
However, psychological research doesn't back this up. Personality is a complex and ever-changing concept that can develop over time. People have the power to change their actions, thoughts, and feelings through conscious effort and practice. They can learn new skills, see things from different viewpoints, and build good habits that shape their personality and help them grow.
Further reading: Hardy, B. (2020). Personality Isn't Permanent—Or Is It? The Answer Is No. Psychology Today.
(3) Action Item
In today’s moment, write down (or record) how others would describe you. Then, re-read or listen to what you described. Dig deep and ask yourself… is that really who I am?
If not, surprise yourself today.
Liked what you read? Stick around and share with a friend. See you tomorrow!