"I'm Grateful for You"

Using gratitude to make more good

Good Morning!

I hope everyone had a weekend that resulted in

$N+I>0$

joyful moments, where

• N is the number of joyful moments you expected to have

• And I is the number of joyful moments you were delightfully surprised by

I had 32 joyful moments this weekend, including visiting one of my best friends, Anastasia, up in Seattle, teaching a workshop at a fantastic event sponsored by her company Kula Cloth, and welcoming 30 new subscribers to Daily Self!

To all my subscribers: I’m thrilled you’re here and delighted to report you helped us grow 8X in just two weeks! Daily Self is now one of the fastest-growing Health & Wellness newsletters on Substack.

Today’s newsletter includes…

1. Morning Microdose: “I’m Grateful for You”

2. Myth of the Day: Gratitude is only possible when things are going well / you’re in a good place in life

3. Action Item: Express your gratitude

(1) Morning Microdose

“I’m Grateful for You”

A lot of what we do in this world goes unnoticed. The medium-sized things may get noticed by people in our inner circle and the large-sized things by our outer circle, but the little things… not as much.

And yet, it’s the little things that add up the most for us. It’s the little things we do that have us show up in different lights, such as “thoughtful,” “kind,” “patient,” “loving,” or “giving.” They are the building blocks for the medium- and large-sized things.

My friend, Anastasia, who I visited this weekend, is someone who always notices the little things. And that’s how her company, Kula Cloth, has built a tremendous community around a reusable pee wipe and a cat dressed like a Victorian baby doll.

Using gratitude to make good

Anastasia is one of those rare people who sees the good in everybody. But here’s where she’s even rarer: Anastasia sees the good and then expresses her gratitude for their goodness through notes of sincere appreciation, poetry, songs, donations, free merchandise, sponsorships, and much more.

As a result, the people who are on the receiving end of her gratitude become dear friends, dedicated employees, lifelong customers, and mega fans. And then those people go on to create even more goodness in their lives and in other communities (i.e., the guitar string phenomenon).

The key insight is this:

When you observe good—even if it’s a “little thing”—in someone else, by expressing your gratitude, you can create more goodness in the world.

How to express gratitude

Expressing your gratitude is very simple and doesn’t need to be any more complicated than this:

“[Name], I really appreciate how you […]. You’ve helped me […]. I’m grateful for you.”

For example:

“[Name], I really appreciate how kind you are to people who work in the service industry. I feel like being around you has helped me become a better person. I’m grateful for you.”

Now think about if someone said that to you.

• How would it feel to be acknowledged for being kind to people?

• How would it feel to have someone thank you for helping them become a better person?

I can tell you how it would feel—it would feel f*cking great!

Don’t let fear stop you from being grateful

We all get in our heads about looking or saying something stupid. Telling someone you are grateful for them is neither stupid-looking nor stupid sounding. One of the greatest gifts you can give to another person is expressing sincere appreciation for them sharing space on this planet with you.

(2) Myth of the Day

I am a firm believer that by practicing gratitude, you can get through any shit that life throws your way. Brene Brown agrees with me. In the video (watch it, it’s good), Brown discusses a “tangible gratitude practice.”

Expressing your gratitude out loud to someone who inspires you with their goodness is extremely tangible, and in my experience, will cultivate joy in your life at some point. Maybe not right away (especially if you are coping with tragedy or loss), but someday with a continuously active gratitude practice, you will experience joy.

(3) Action Item

Very straightforward assignment. Express your gratitude to 1 or more people you care about today. Observe their reaction. How do you think it made them feel to hear what you said? How did it make you feel to say it?

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